hope dont lose hope my dear

im not that kind from the way you see mee.
im not a person who tawaduk all the time
or most of the time
im not that kind in term of thinking about people
im not that perfect to the point that strangers may even see the flaw
im not that kind to be with
im not that kind
im not that baik to keep on thinking positive
im not that intelligent either
im not that kind to people
i may look kind and soft
but im not
im arrogant
selfish
and always forgot where im belong
im not like other people
i make sin that i dont even know what it was
i do things that lagha
i sometimes said bad stuff
bad mouth other people

but what ever i do
i know Allah with me
i dont hope any of you to be pity of me
Because i hve Allah
Allah hold me so that i walk properly on His path
But... It just me that i choose to walk away
But i tried and tried until i reach His paradise.
I hope and keep hoping from Allah
Because Allah knows best.

P/s: Nak nangis tulis ni ;(

what important is right now. let go of the past my dear. past destroyed you. i know its hard but tried and tried Allah like people who keep on trying

Life ;)

Dahh..... Form. 5.......

there are lots of thing going on this form 5. especially problem in form 4 that i kept on  dragging it all the way to this new year. well i supposed new year should hve new azam right. tp malas lah hahaha.

Well life. i dont really know how to judge it. but i hope what had happened to me all this years will make me more mature than i am. i know ive changed a lot.

dulu kemain baik kotttttttt ckp bende merepek pon tk byk. tp still bler bler style tu masih ade lah. mse kat jalan reko diorng ckp izzah sombong tau. but in jess, mungkin friendly mungkin tak. well. i dont know how people judge me.

satu bende nk kongsi. sometimes, i hope i can be psychologist. i want to search where the judgemental people come from. Judging people based on their cover is not good. But actually, when you want to read a book the first thing you see is tht cover right. how interesting the cover look change your mind about that book eventhough tht book' story line is boring. but this cannot be applied on the other book. some book may not look interesting, but only lucky and unique people who think that this book is interesting will pick up the book tht people dont really want to read. so to me. this cover book thing has lots of meaning.

itulah. kedakang in life. some people may dont like the way we are or even the way we look but some people like it. i just want to say please dont lose hope in life. There are many great things will happened after your misery. i say this because this is what i need. a few word just to comfort myself.

i know id change alot. people that i used to be with leave me when i need them. and thats when i felt people are all the same. humen are complicated you know. when this thing keep happened. i had no choice but to leave them i know that they did nothing wrong but it just the way how my mind work. stress agak nya form5 ni tu yg rasa org ashik tk faham jee. padahal tak de pape ponn.

now i know. no wonder lah my abang and ude moody je wktu form4 form 5 they barely talk. masuk u hambik kau,, mesra kemaiinnnn. berubah ke arah kebaikan ler tuu hehehe. i hope i will be the same path as them. if not, i hope Allah can guide me to the right path dengan rendah diri tanpa rasa ujub rik dan takabur.

p/s: truthfully i said, masa dapat result selalu rasa bangga, lepastu teringat kat Allah rasa takut pulak. sorry lah tak sempurnaa huhuhu. tp result tu tkde lah tinggi sgt ade je org lain lg tinggi. tp tu ahh bila belagak dahh datang rasa diri je hebat padahal menang anugerah pelajar terbaik pon tk pernah. sijil markah tertinggi huh mimpi lahhhh '-'

can't you be the devil

sometimes life are just to wonderful to describe.

there are many things in this world tht are more to be discovered.

if only people know how i feel!!! ohhhh so frustated, hahahahaha pening ahh. selalu tanya kenapa, why not tanya kenapa tak boleh? ok Allah with me! strong man strong. u r more stronger than a man. cey hahahah kene fikir positve! kene hypnotise my self!!!

boleh jadi gile ahh camniiii. Makin besar makin rasa ada masalah dgn manusia, but hey its not my fault if that person start it first. daaa >.>

mcm mana niiiiiii Ya Allah tolong lahh.frust nyeee huhuhuhhu since when did i care so much about humannnnnnN? T.T dulu wktu kecik kecik hppy je main lari lari ketuk songkok orng, main tiang tiang, gelakkan kawan yg berak dalam seluar lps tu ckgu marah. relax je tauuu. lepastu kalau ade laki confess kata suke ckp suke balik. lol. haha i dont even understand whats the meaning of love at tht time. ahhhh precious moment. sekarang ni! its true one of my friends friends said to Megat " why u dont smile in this pic?" then he replied, " because life is getting uninteresting" smthign like that lah. tp mmg betul pon.

but when you think about it back. how ironic. this is just the beginning of life. May Allah make us strong for the upcoming life.

P/S: feeling so sad. if u rasa "whats wrong with her?" takpeee im trying to hypnotise my self

result

oh mannnnnnn. makin lama belajar makin malas kot.

my result is so bad for this final exam. i mean, come on! new people, i learned a lot from them.
but why i think it's not enough.

kenapa wktu remaja ni bende cmni pon boleh nk rasa sensitip haaa?
frust nye result cmni. but i will try harder. it's okay i work as hell

lagi frust bile pressure from parents, and teachers, and my friends. and the most important thing is, pressure from my twin. (but i don't blame her, as she felt the same as i am)
you had no idea how pressure it is to be compared with your twin. (but most of the time having her around is a bless hahaha)

Bil	Mata Pelajaran	UJIAN 1		PEPERIKSAAN PERTENGAHAN TAHUN		UJIAN 2		PEPERIKSAAN AKHIR TAHUN		PEPERIKSAAN PERCUBAAN SPM
		Markah	Gred	Markah	Gred	Markah	Gred	Markah	Gred	Markah	Gred
1.	BAHASA INGGERIS [MA]	64	C+	83	A			77	A-
2.	BIOLOGI	64	C+	56	C			55	C
3.	BAHASA MELAYU [MA]	80	A	72	B+			72	B+
4.	FIZIK	73	B+	70	B+			79	A-
5.	KIMIA	60	C+	71	B+			53	C
6.	MATEMATIK [MA]	76	A-	91	A+			95	A+
7.	MATEMATIK TAMBAHAN	78	A-	74	B+			88	A
8.	PENDIDIKAN ISLAM [MA]	79	A-	89	A			84	A
9.	PENDIDIKAN JASMANI & KESIHATAN	82	A	84	A			84	A
10.	SEJARAH [MA]	64	C+	64	C+			63	C+
11.	SIVIK DAN KEWARGANEGARAAN	85	A	90	A+			71	B+
KDT		87 / 308		47 / 303		/		45 / 314		/
KDK		11 / 43		4 / 43		/		4 / 43		/
PERATUS		70.89		74.44				74

result through out the year. naik then turun sikit. huhu

P/S: takde niat pun nk show off ok. for real. my purpose for putting it in this blog is so that one day, when im old enough i will look back at my blog and read while laughing on how sensitive i am during my teenager. haha someday, it will be a good memory guysss. and another reason for putting this result is because next year dah form 5 kot, nanti result dlm SAPS akan didelete. so no record of my result. blog ni bleh lah simpan kannn .

;)

teenager's hal don't bother about it 

My inside

is it normal when you are being teenager, you feel, most of the time irritated or annoyed with someone easily.

When i was going through my puberty, i cried almost all the time because i just learned that how world can be so cruel sometimes.

is it normal that when you are being teenager, you want some attention from people. And sometimes you feel lonely because you realized that at the end, no one would stay by your side.

dan itulah kadang kalau rasa bersyukur jugak sbb i was born in Islam. if i dont have guidance in my life, i really don't know what will happen to me.

it's okay, kalau kan orang cakap kite memacam. memang sakit tapi kene fikir die pon bukan lah bagus sangat nak cakap kite cam tu. Di mata Allah ni kite cantik dah ok dah.

And there are a few times i felt so down that i felt no one can understand. not even my twin. i just say to myself

 " its okay, at least my dad believes in me. my mum too. n most of all, I have Allah that He lovingly tested me so that i remember Him."